You Will Live On...

It's not that I don't love you. No off-springs doesn't. I think I would even cry and feel sad and grieve after you pass on, when the time comes. You would wish it'd never arrive, but you know no one escapes that. No, please do not misunderstand that I am cursing you to a premature ending, but the spiritual presence, or rather, more precisely, the genetic existence that is flowing in your descendants' blood is eerily haunting, and especially thriving in one of them. Sadly.

The moans and fuss and whimpers and sniffs and complaints yesterday were so overpowering it nearly drove me nuts. I had to repeatedly remind myself it is not his fault, but yours. I don't exactly blame you though, you might have in any case inherited this too. I shudder at the slightest thought that the DNA might have been mutated and intensified throughout your development from infancy to adulthood to the very present day. I attempted to nurture (vs nature) him by explaining the symptomatic facts of the illness he had unfortunately and untimely contacted, in the high hopes that I don't see more of your shadows in him, but you are almost like a ghost, just one that is not yet even eligible to be.

I regretted telling him off this morning for what he had gotten from you, through me. Thank goodness he took it well and stopped behaving like the world has come to an end. I must give credits of this invaluable virtue to your better half.

My adult life had also seen me displaying some undesirable traits of yours. Unlike you, I am blessed enough to be able to keep my ears and heart open (not all the times, I must admit) to the constant reminders not to behave that way by your chosen life partner. A true gift to you. But one that you did not and still do not recognise, appreciate, much less utilise. Those constant reminders are extremely fundamental in knocking out the chromosomes that are so stubbornly present in us. I like to think that I, too, can rub off the positive effects on my children. Personally, it is a process much higher than scientific interference of genetic alteration.

But fret not, the seed you had planted 38 years ago have blossomed, bore fruits and you shall live in our lives, for as long as we live. Even when you are long gone and forgotten, your DNA shall not. However, one thing I can assure you, it will be suppressed and contained, and in the next few generations to come, hopefully wiped out. Sorry, but not really.

Maybe it is a good idea to begin a new life. A meaningful life. One that I can be proud to tell my children, my grandchildren, and them to theirs.

Hurry up. It's never too late.