Repeat After Me

Two days ago, I got Bart to help out in the kitchen. He cut and washed a few things. 

Today, I got Enzian to help me. He was always willing to help me.

Compared to Bart, Enzian is an asset to me in the kitchen. I can't say the same for Bart, unfortunately, I always have to justify why he has to help. So, when Bart entered the kitchen just now, I told them to repeat after me, "mummy, we understand that there's no such things as free meals in the world. So we are very honored to be able to be here in the kitchen to help you. This way, we can appreciate the food on the table more."

Enzian giggled and repeated after me, amused.  Bart, on the other hand, was reluctant and repeated like a robot.  I told him he would have to keep saying until I feel his heart in it.  After 3 or 4 attempts, I finally felt some feeling.  It was then that I let him go.

I have the tendency to tell my children (and recently my nephew Ralph, who came with his family to visit us) to repeat my words.  I formed sentences for them to say after me, for example, "zeeyee (that's how he calls me, it means second aunt in Teochew, as I am the second daughter), you know me better than I know myself, (cannot remember exactly, waiting for inputs from my sister)

I think I come across as a mother who wants total control of her children, or an evil aunt who commands her nephew to succumb to her.  Sometimes I really don't know if I am doing the right thing.  It is all so subjective.  However, my intention is really to help them realize how much their parents sacrifice for them, in order that they don't take things for granted, that they learn to appreciate even the most minute thing.  The thought, the effort, the time, the work.

All I wish upon them is they grow up to be men who don't take things for granted.  Sensitive, respectful, attentive, sensible.  Only time will tell if the things I am doing is right.  I will keep doing and modifying and improving and changing.  My heart is my compass.  I follow my heart.  I do what my heart feels is right.  

After note: Bart came to me the next day, offering his help in the kitchen on his own initiative, "mummy, last night I thought about the words you made me repeat... and I think you are right."  And he went on to repeat what was said to him the day before, in his own words.  

This time, I felt his heart.