Inspired

It’s been 5.5 months since we are without a maid, I didn’t think we could pull through without one then.  On one hand, I promised myself and my husband that I will take it easy, stop when I am tired, keep one eye closed.  On the other hand, I had imagined that it would be tough, exhausting, frustrating, and all things negative.  In fact, it was so in the first few weeks.  I was stressed.  In fact, that was an understatement.  How can I cope with all the housework, fetch the children thrice a day from school, cook, wash the cars, tend to the boys, all single-handedly? I thought I had transformed to a superwoman when I actually managed them all, but at the same time, I also became a monster mom and a grumpy wife.

Friends had been encouraging me to hire cleaning service since we sent back the maid.  Of course I did not listen.  I could handle all alone, with the 4 little helpers. 

2.5 months on, I evolved into a pain in the ass.  So what if the house was clean?  I was miserable, so was my husband.  My boys were affected too.  I don’t even want to recall how I felt towards the kids when I shouted at them to keep their bedrooms tidy.  They were a helpful lot, they did many things around the house.  For instance, keeping the dishes in the cupboard, setting up the table, wiping off spills, sweeping and mopping the floors, washing their toilets, even handwashing the stains off their clothes before putting them in the laundry basket.  What more could I ask for?  They are still kids, they play, they pull out toys, they forget to clean up after playing, and I. Just. Had. To. Scream. At. Them.  I hated myself.  I wouldn’t blame them if they hated me too.   I was a bad mom, an awful, crappy mom.

One day, I received an sms from a neighbour, “nowadays I don’t hear your boys playing outside anymore?  Heard that they are helping with housework, good to train them young!”  It was a wake-up call.  It was THE wake-up call.  Now, I must give you the background story.  My playful, active boys were always outside the house – playing football, running in the rain, cycling, camping in the garden… their noisy chatters, booming laughter, enough-to-wake-up-the-dead arguments were all a part of this neighbourhood.  I had always felt guilty towards my poor neighbours whenever we were too loud.  Surprisingly, it appeared  they didn’t seem to mind!  Due to our boisterous boys, neighbours would always know when we are away for holiday - the noise goes with us!  For this reason, as much as I would like to, I could not see this sms as a compliment.  Maybe it wasn’t meant to be in the first place!  Ha!  All the noises stopped because they had no more time after doing their chores and/or I simply disallowed all outdoor activities as that would mean more work and stress for me.  I read the sms again, again and again.  I was crushed, crumpled, broken.  What had I become?

The next thing saw me on the phone with a cleaning company, booking a weekly cleaning service.  After the first cleaning session was over, I was so over the moon!  Why didn’t I do it earlier?!  It’s been 3 months since we have someone to clean the house once a week.  There are still a lot to be done in the house, but the weekly cleaning alleviates me a lot too.  The boys do get out to play again as I re-educate myself to be more relaxed with them.  I have also learnt to let go, that it is ok for the house to be dusty and a little untidy, that I don’t have to fold the clothes every night if I get too tired.  I even managed to sneak in time to go for yoga and pilates!  I was pretty pleased with myself until last Friday…

We were at a neighbour’s house, chatting and playing.  They have 2 very young kids and no maid, both parents are working.  They, too, hire the same weekly cleaning service.  In fact, it was them that referred the cleaning company to me.  When I stepped into their living room, my god, the floor was so clean you can even lick from it and not get sick!  Mind you, it had been a week since the cleaning ladies visited them.  I couldn’t resist asking how they could keep their floors so dust-free, because at my house, I can even see the layer of dust buildup over the week.  When I heard the answer and the explanation, I couldn’t decide if I liked it or not, nor was I convinced if I would be motivated enough to do likewise.  Sigh!  There is really no secret to keeping the floors clean.  To keep them always clean, you have to pay a price for it.  I wasn’t sure if I was ready to pay that kind of price.  Regardless, I went home and did what they do every evening, just to try out their formula.  I only mopped my bedroom, was reluctant to go full-fledge, and the feeling was already great!  I have clean feet!  Yeah!  Encouraged, I proceeded to mop the common area outside my bedroom.  Felt even better!  I secretly planned for the boys that they mop their rooms the next day, which they did!  I mopped the entire downstairs too.  It wasn’t so much more work, but it was so much more rewarding to see the boys having clean feet.  No, I don’t mop every evening, I do it just twice a week, in between the cleaning service.  It is sufficient for me.

Sometimes, inspiration doesn’t ring on the spot.  But it still gets to you in the end, and that’s most important.