有好多好多要哭诉的话，千言万语诉不尽。
为了孩子的功课，我是真的尽力了。数学，阅读，文字。我能做的，我都做了。我把他未完成的德文作业交给正在办公室赶工的你，希望你能抽一点时间监督监督他。你问我这是什么意思？我说这一张我无能为力，请你帮个忙。你大眼瞪着我，叫我自己去搞定它。
接下来的１５分钟，我们大呼小叫，你一言我一语，彼此不肯相让。过后，你喊叫孩子自己把功课做完。你回房工作了，我也开始今天还没做的家务事。在扫地的当儿，听到孩子从房里传来的哭泣声，我硬起心来不去理。
你又下楼来，大声地责怪还在哭泣的孩子，叫他最好赶快把作业写完。我虽听在耳里，但却不闻不问，继续我的家务事。
我心中充满怨恨，愤怒，不平。也深感自己的局限，无奈，及对孩子的亏欠。
我把孩子叫来。我决定靠人不如靠己。孩子的德文理解问答，文本里有４８个我不会的生字。１４道问题中有９个陌生的字眼。我一字一字的翻找字典，把生字的意思写下来。这时你下来了，站在那里看着狼狈的我。已息怒了的你对我刚才的大呼小叫道歉了。我忍住眼泪，头也不抬的，继续做我的"功课"。你对我的没反应，默默的走开了。
生字全找出来了，再来试着去理解正文，然后把答案写起来。１４道题里，有４道我读了再读，还是真的不会。没办法，只好把答案卷放在你桌上等着给你过目。过了许久，你下来了，似乎对我逞强的结果感到骄傲。你安然的向我解释我犯的小错误，还在气头上的我才没有那种雅兴去听你浮文巧语的解说！
在一个二话不说的晚餐后，我再把孩子叫来，重新开始做这份功课。从头到尾，２个多小时才完成。虽已过了睡觉时间，看到作业的完成，他这时才松了一口气！
我还是怒容满面。这才是你所谓的尽力吗？
我誓言，要以我的悲怒化为力量，总有一天我不会向你请教德文的！
你没有错，你老公也没有错，孩子更没有错。
ReplyDelete靠人不如靠己。就算是最可靠的老公，能不靠就不靠，越是独立越好。
keke, I dunno if my thinking is warped. But I always tell myself I have to survive like a single mother. Not that I dun love my husband. It's a mentality to prepare for the worst so that even when he is away for whatever reasons, I am still capable enough to get myself and the kids going.
Studying with children is one very effective way to teach the children how to learn. Struggling is painful but struggling is good. Let our children learn that a bit of struggling is necessary in taking them to a higher level. Don't be afraid to leave our comfort zone. We all need some discomfort to grow! 加油！加油！加油！
没有人，包括自己的老公亏欠我们什么，所以不要有怨恨，知道吗？：）
Yes,Huimin.You got to work very very hard to learn German to lend your children a helping hand in their school work.If we remain constant, we will be still be at the same spot, living in the same way, in the same frustration and misery.Don,t hold back, seize every opportunity to learn. No easy, but you can do it!
ReplyDelete该说什么呢？努力吧，我们都是打不死的蟑螂，记得吗？
ReplyDeleteI often feel inadequate when I read such posts. So often I see the other wiser women giving you such valuable comments and I, incapable of giving you anything.
ReplyDeleteSo allow me to send you an inspiring speech:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bpd3raj8xww
"what is it trying to teach me?"
Don't feel inadequate, B. When I feel down, blogging is an outlet for me (not the only one, but one that I find more and more so essential).
ReplyDeleteOne day down the road, when I look back, I will see what I had been through, it will help remind me what made me the way I would be, and the most important of all, I will be able to leave these memories for my children, about their mother.
I write not for crying out for attention, not for getting loved ones to comment. But when I do get them, I feel honoured, I feel touched, I feel loved. When I don't (get any comments from you), I know deep inside, you are feeling with me, and/or feeling sad and helpless for me. I know. 真的！ I feel your support in the vibes, I don't have to see your words to feel it. It is the same for those who had spent their time to leave their comments, cos even when there is none, it is already comforting enough with the thought that you guys know how I am feeling, what I am going through.
Thanks for the link. It started as a whisper, I heard the whispers, I ignored them. When it screamed at me, I crushed. I am picking myself up again to change the course of my direction. The licking of my wounds has stopped, and today will be a brighter day! Thank you, my dearest sissy!