Enzian

Enzian is such a darling.  It's hard not to have a soft spot for him.  He has this magic of secretly switching on your button to want to like him more whenever he is near you.  It is hard to be angry with him.  Get to know him and you will understand what I mean.

I have to go back to the black Tuesday last week again.  I start to believe more and more now that that fateful day is the turning page of my life as a mother, as a person.  A new chapter.  I hope to find time to write about it in the next couple of days.  I am making new discoveries every day, and each discovery or observation discloses many little tips and lessons to me, the rate this is coming at me is alarming but I cannot complain.  In fact, I am loving it.  I feel so blessed!

But the star of this post is Enzian.

It was his turn to spend time and sleep with me last night.  I haven't had the chance to thank him properly for his help that day Bart decided to take off.  So last night was the perfect time to do that.

"Enzian, I want to say thank you to you for helping me bring the message to Bart last Tuesday.  Actually, what was the exact message?"

Big grin on his face first, followed by...

"It's ok mummy, I wanted to help you.  You told me to tell him go walk for one hour and come back after that."

"Oh... I totally forgot that was my message!  When you caught up with Bart and conveyed the message, what did he say?"

"He said no. And asked me to go back and stop following him. Then he wanted to throw snow at me (because I followed him), so I ran back home.  I was crying."

I heard my heart crushed.

"Why did you cry?"

"Because actually I love Bart and he is my brother.  I don't want him to go."

At this point, I lost my words.  So I hugged him, close and tight.

"I am sorry to put you through so much worry, Enzian.... (more hugs and kisses) I also want to thank you for taking over the responsibility of looking after your younger brothers after I left to search for Bart.  It was a huge responsibility and you did excellently.  Your steadiness helped me focus on my search for Bart.  Did you know you did a wonderful job?

Big fat grin.

"Tell me, what did you do when I was out?"

"Mummy, first I knew Johann will be scared and start to cry, so before he became scared, I took my hand phone and told him he can choose two songs and play while I prepared his dinner for him. I sat with him and just kept talking to him so he will not be scared and I asked him to play the songs again.  Then you called and said you found Bart and I was so happy."

My heart swelled.  His maturity and calmness he had displayed was brilliant.  I cannot be prouder.  I thanked him many more times over, hugged him (he is so huggable too) and kissed him again and again.

I promised him things will get better from this point on as I watched him slowly drifted off to sleep.