Remembering Snippets of My First Pregnancy

Bartholomew, my first baby, is now entering puberty.  He will be taller than me by next year.  His shoe size is 43, his height 160cm.  By his next birthday, he would have completed the 12 year lunar cycle.

I wanted to have a baby very soon after I got married, what I did not want was to be an old mother.  Besides, I knew I didn't want only one child in the family, but two.  So I had to act fast, since the production process takes one year, including the number of tries to get fertilised.  Why I have four now remains a puzzle to me, so don't ask.

My mind was entirely pre-occupied with "I want a baby, I want a baby, I want a baby".  I knew to raise a child right and well is the most important gift a parent can give, I was aware to be a parent is a lifelong commitment, that my life would change forever, that I would lose my freedom until they become independent.

During my pregnancy, there was one incident about my odd food cravings that till this day still sticks fresh to my head.  The changes my body had made to alter my sense of smell and taste was horrific.  I felt nauseated to Christophe's perfume.  I didn't like to eat my usual favourite food.  Everything that went into my mouth tasted awful.  I would order a plate and reject it after a mouthful.  I would then order the next dish and the same thing happened.  I couldn't decide what I wanted to eat, for when I thought I knew what, the taste in the mouth just didn't come off right.  This was driving me nuts and Christophe felt so helpless.

I craved for sweet things, so I ordered desserts.  Yet, that metallic after taste hit me so hard I had to cry.  Then I craved for dried kway teow (干捞果条), not just kway teow from any food stalls, I was specifically looking for the taste in my mother's dried kway teow.  11 years ago, I was an idiot in the kitchen, even frying an egg was a challenge, so we hopped from one food court to another, in search of the stupid kway teow that I so craved.  Of course, there wasn't one that served anything close to my mom's recipe.  I was literally crying.  We went home dejected, and my stomach was still growling with hunger.  I decided to call mom, I had little hope that she would have some kway teow in the fridge, but I gave it a try regardless.

Me:  “妈，你家有果条吗？”
Ma:  “有，应该还有一点。什么事呢？”
Me:  “我可以现在过来吃你的干捞果条吗？我在外面找不到我想吃的果条。”

The next moment saw us flagging down a cab back to my mother's and I had the most satisfying bowl of plain kway teow in the world.  My tummy was filled, the taste in my mouth truly satisfied with no weird after taste whatsoever, my heart was happy again.

That night, I went to bed without brushing my teeth, deliberately.  I wanted to savour the taste in my mouth for as long as it lasted.  I was on top of the world.